What’s Already in Your Closet

You probably already own the core staples of farm fashion. Look for:

• Plaid or flannel shirt (bonus if it’s wrinkled or rolled up)

• Jeans or overalls (add patches for flair or “authenticity”)

• Boots (work boots, cowboy boots, or anything muddy-looking)

• Tank top or knotted tee (for that "I do chores but I flirt about it" vibe)

Optional upgrades:

• Denim vest, utility belt, apron, or wide-brimmed hat

 

 Makeup, Hair & Accessories

Makeup:

• A smudge of “dirt” (brown eyeliner or contour works)

• Rosy cheeks from that “fresh air” (or fresh gossip)

• Optional: draw on a sun-kissed farmer’s tan line

Hair:

• Braids, pigtails, low ponytail, or wild and windblown

• Add a kerchief, straw hat, or even a decorative flower for rural glam

Accessories & Props:

• A bandana (either neck-tied or sticking out of a pocket)

• Toy farm animal (mini pig, chicken, cow—if it squeaks, even better)

• Fake carrot, egg basket, or mason jar labeled “moonshine”

• A notebook labeled “Tractor Payments & Suspicions”

 

Behavior: How to Talk, Walk, and Stir the Pot

Talk like:

• You’ve never been to a city but you know everyone else's business

• You’re proud, petty, and oddly poetic about livestock

• Slow, exaggerated, and folksy—or ridiculously enthusiastic about your crops

Drop phrases like:

• “Well butter my biscuit...”

• “Ain’t my first hoe-down... but it might be my last.”

• “That fella’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

• “She’s slicker than a greased pig at a church picnic.”

• “The rooster might crow, but it’s the hen that lays the truth.”

Act like:

• You’re always two seconds from starting a feud or a square dance

• You’ve got one eye on the pie and the other on whoever’s sneaking into the barn

• You might casually pull out a pickling recipe mid-interrogation

• You have opinions. On everything. Especially corn.