The Tech CEO

 

Vibe: Disruptive. Delusional. One IPO away from launching themselves into space.

 

Closet Costume:

• Black turtleneck (Steve Jobs) or sleek black tee (Elon-core)

• Skinny jeans or monochrome slacks

• Designer sneakers or Allbirds

• Lanyard badge that says “Founder. Visionary. Problem?”

• Jacket that costs $2,000 but looks like a potato sack

 

Behavior:

• Make TED Talk hand gestures while saying nothing of substance

• Say “We’re not a company, we’re a movement”

• Refer to your garage as "the innovation lab"

• Drop phrases like “frictionless scalability” in casual conversation

 

The Computer Scientist

 

Vibe: Knows 47 programming languages but can’t explain their job to their family.

 

Closet Costume:

• Graphic tee with an inside joke only six people in the world get

• Khakis, cargo pants, or anything with extra pockets (for cables)

• Lab coat or flannel overshirt

• Glasses with blue light filter

• Worn-out sneakers or New Balances with a story

 

Accessories & Behavior:

• Carry a laptop (get a toy one) with 19 stickers

• Speak in algorithm metaphors

• Refer to things as “NP-hard” even if it's just getting out of bed

• Occasionally stare off and whisper, “What if we optimized recursion…”

 

The Robotic Engineer

 

Vibe: Thinks “emotion” is a module. Brings soldering gear to potlucks.

 

Closet Costume:

• Work jumpsuit, lab coat, or layered tech wear

• Goggles (pushed up) or a headlamp

• Utility belt filled with wires, resistors, and possibly raisins

• Safety gloves and a name tag that says “Builds Friends”

 

Accessories & Behavior:

• Remote control for something, even if nothing’s attached

• Blueprint rolled up like a scroll of forbidden knowledge

• Explains torque specs unprompted

 

The Hacker (Morally Fluid)

 

Vibe: Lives in the shadows of the internet and is probably on a watchlist.

 

Closet Costume:

• Black hoodie (mandatory)

• Dark pants and combat boots

• Gloves, backpack, and a laptop with mysterious duct tape

• Headphones around neck and a slightly suspicious USB stick

 

Behavior:

• Type furiously and then say “I’m in”

• Refuse to explain what you do. Ever.

• Say “the algorithm is watching” with absolute seriousness

• Occasionally vanish from conversations mid-sentence

 

The Robot / AI / Humanoid

 

Vibe: Designed to help. Malfunctioning anyway.

 

Closet Costume:

• All silver, black, or white clothing — anything structured or synthetic

• Reflective sunglasses or visor

• Panels drawn on skin with eyeliner or metallic tape

• Dots or LEDs on temples for “facial interface ports”

 

Behavior:

• Responds with “Affirmative” and “Request denied.”

• Walks like someone trying to remember how knees work

• Pauses randomly to “reboot”

• Glitches on purpose when bored

 

The Silicon Valley Coder

 

Vibe: Never blinks. Thinks sleep is a feature to be patched later.

 

Closet Costume:

• Company hoodie from a startup you made up

• T-shirt that says “Code. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.” or similar

• Blue-light glasses

• Joggers or jeans with mystery crumbs

 

Accessories & Behavior:

• Laptop covered in stickers like “Stack Overflow Saved My Life”

• (Pretend) Vapes while debugging (if adult)

• Constantly refreshes GitHub and Slack

• Says “this code is ugly but it works, just like me”

Bonus Characters

Character Type = Costume/Behavior Blend

Defective AI = Freezes mid-sentence, says “RECALCULATING” after every social cue

Tech Support  = Dresses in officewear, speaks with interruptions of printer noises and sighs

Influencer Dev  = Carries ring light, never codes, just vibes and posts “#buildinpublic”

Crypto Bro  = Suit jacket over shorts. Screams “BUY THE DIP” while juggling fake NFTs