First off, I just want to tell the thief myself that I do NOT appreciate the thief stealing my Vitamin C soft gels last Wednesday. You've also stolen a package from The Redneckery and Lipton Dittybopper will NOT replace the items, so it's not fair what you're doing. And for my Vitamin C - I cannot get those in town at the Friendly Mart and I need my daily Vitamin C. I cannot take caplets and stuff - they stick in my throat and make me gag.
Enough is ENOUGH! You've stolen over 100 packages now. I just spoke with the sheriff and this person is blackmailing folks AND stealing their packages. What kind of villain is this that we have among us?
CATCH THEM. PUT IN CAMERAS, SUBMIT THE FOOTAGE TO THE SHERIFF AND LET'S CATCH THIS RAT!
So what is a porch pirate?
A porch pirate is a term used to describe a person who steals packages, mail, or other deliveries from the front porch or doorstep of a trailer home. Porch piracy has become increasingly common in recent years, as more and more people are shopping online and having packages delivered to their lots.
Porch pirates often target packages that are left unattended or visible on the porch, and may follow delivery trucks to steal packages as soon as they are delivered. I think this might be what happens, as packages are being stolen soon after delivery. They may also use tools to break into lockboxes or other secure delivery locations to steal packages.
Porch piracy can be a frustrating and costly experience for victims, who may lose valuable items - such as my vitamin C soft gels - or have to deal with the hassle of replacing stolen packages. To prevent porch piracy, it's important to take steps to secure your deliveries, such as requiring signature confirmation for deliveries, using lockboxes or other secure delivery locations, or requesting that packages be held at a delivery center for pickup.